The GI system is done and over with, now it's on to GU and repro, and then done! We had our ACLS lecture today, now I know just how bogus everything they do on Grey's Anatomy and ER really is. The instructor was a little... out there, the one thing she kept saying over and over.. You do not shock asystole! i get to be commuting from Brooklyn next week when my parents are in Israel. Someone has to stay with the doggie. So that means I will get to leave my house at 6:30 am to make it on time to my 8 am lectures. Oh joy. But on the plus side, I get the house to myself, and I get to sleep in my parent's lovely big bed while they're gone. 

So let's see..... what else....... I get the results of my ultrasound tomorrow. It's strange, on the one hand, you obviously hope there is nothing there because nobody wants anything wrong with them. But on the other hand, I kind of hope they'l find something because then I'll know why I have been feeling so nauseous and with tummy pains lately. I'm trying not to diagnose myself, but it's hard not to. You know what they say.... "The doctor that treats herself has a fool for a patient". 

It's kind of crazy how much studying has taken over my life. I actually feel like I have no life anymore. I peruse jdate every now and then, but I don't have the time to take it seriously. I talk to a few people, but usually when I say I'm a medical student, they never reply back. Or when they want to meet up and I can't because I have an exam, nobody is going to wait around for a girl they haven't met when there are tons more girls on jdate. I am taking the view now that whatever will be will be and I can't force anything. When the time is right, the right guy will come into my life, and that's all I can do. 

 Exam time is upon us.... and that means gotta study. So what am I doing on here? Good question. I'm getting tired of reading about sh*t... literally. Ah the joys of the GI system! The cleanest system! Soon it will be done and I will only have to take 3 more school exams, and then it's all about hte shelf exams afterwards. Can't forget boards though... don't want to fail boards because then I can't go on rotations! Eek! I think I figured out what I am doing for my hospital applications, I just need to actually find the time to do it now. I still can't believe 2 years are almost done... it's a little scary. I went to the ER on Friday night, and I actually understood what they were talkign about. The doctors were trying to whisper and do the "doctor speak" but I knew exactly what they were saying. I had to get an ultrasound today, and on the form, they asked why I was there, and I started writing it out in medical shorthand without even realizing I was doing it. So weird.... after 2 years, it's kind of amazing just how much you know.

On Friday, we had the hospital fair. Basically, a 2 hour presentation on the different hospitals we can do regionals at, and then a 2 hour fair where we can go around to the different hospitals and get information, see where we want to go, and get some free stuff. I want to apply for the regionals, I'm thinking about applying to 4 of the 9 that are available. I doubt I'll get my top 2 choices though, they're the most competitive ones. I'm not sure how much I want to do the other 2, so it's something to think about. My top 2, I can live at home, the other 2, I would need to rent something near the hospital. But at least I'd be going to the same place every day. The other option I was considering is applying only to the top 2 regionals, and then if I don't get those, I go into the rotational pool. I can still try to do my rotations at those hospitals, but it's not guaranteed that I would get them. But I could still try, and try for the hospitals that are further away that offer free housing for the students. This way, either I live at home, or I live with the free housing provided. Anyway, the fair was informative, and I got some free stuff. I got a bunch of pens, a couple stress balls, a toothpaste squeezer thing, an ID badge holder, a drawstring backpack, and a tote bag. I like free stuff.

But all day, something just didn't feel right. My stomach was really bothering me. I managed to drive home to Brooklyn, and just lied in bed. My mom was ready to take me to the ER then and there, but I refused. Finally, around 10, she wouldn't let me refuse anymore. We went to the ER, they ran their tests, did all their stuff. I had the most painful pelvic exam of my life, never let an EM resident do a pelvic, it's not a good idea. They thought I had appendicitis, so I had a contrast CT, but it turned out to be negative. They said it might have been a small kidney stone since I had some blood in my urine sample, but it doesn't always show up unless you do an IV contrast CT, and they didn't want to expose me to that much radiation. So basically, once they found out it wasn't appendicitis, I was able to leave. Got home around 5 am. Still not feeling that great, but better than last night.  

Maybe this is an effort in procrastination, or maybe I'm getting tired of studying all day and night and need a break. So I thought maybe I should try to keep this thing updated. Not sure to who, don't think anyone is reading this thing, or really cares. But I'm halfway through my second year of medical school, and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. 

So if you don't want to read about my rambling, then stop reading now. If you're the slightest bit interested, here's basically the first year nad a half in a nutshell. First, when you get in, it's like the greatest feeling in the world. You know you're going to be a doctor, things can only get better! This feeling of euphoria lasts until you start class. And then you start to feel like you made the biggest mistake of your life. Basically, you will go through your entire undergraduate career in less than one week. It's like throwing a bunch of information at you and hoping something sticks. You get thrown into this entire experience, and you're just praying to survive. Eventually though, you do survive. ANd things start to slightly get better. Well, not better, but you learn how to keep your head above water. And you learn fast. Eventually, you are no longer bothered by the unique odor of the anatomy lab. You get over the idea that the cadaver was once a person, and you have no problem dissecting it to pieces. You learn how to complain about the immense amount of fat that you have to scrape off while still being thankful that the person made this decision to donate their body. 

And then at some point, you start learing something. When you get sick, you start thinking about the pathogenesis of a fever. When you cut yourself, you start running through the clotting cascade. And as soon as it started, anatomy lab is over and all of a sudden, you have so much more free time. Only you really don't because you realize once anatomy is over, the tougher classes start and so although you are now allowed back in your mother's house and you can now wash your clothes in the family washing machine instead of the public laundromat, you realize you can't because now you're spending more time in the library with tons of books. 

And as fast as it all started, the first year is done. You've learned a lot, but you realize that although you learned more than you thought you could ever remember, you realize you don't know anything. And then comes the big question of what do I do during the all important summer between first and second year? Some people did research, some people traveled, some people were beach bums. I worked at an HIV/STD center and was maid of honor in my sister's wedding. It was fun, good experience, made some money. 

When second year starts, it's all about the boards. It's all anyone could think about, it's all anyone could talk about, it's all anyone is worried about. All of a sudden, your priorities shift from doing well in class to learning what will be high yeild for the boards and just passing the classes. At some point, you get your registration number to take the boards, and you actually sign up for the boards. Your wallet $500 lighter, you start to feel like an almost doctor. Every doctor has taken the boards! Soon, you too will be in that elusive class. And then you realize "Oh crap, I am taking the boards in 6 months and I don't know anything!" So you start studying, which you've been doing all along, but everyone else is freaking out, so you might as well freak out with everyone else. 

So I guess that brings me to where I am now. Studying for classes, studying for boards, and trying to decide where to do my third year rotations. One of the more unique things about many DO schools is that you have the choice of many hospitals to choose from. As an applicant, I thought it was great. I can get plenty of exposure at different places, or I can stay at one hospital the entire year. But now faced with the reality of having to choose where to go, I can't decide. 

My schedule lately is becoming so full, I actually use my planner. I couldn't get by without it. We have ACLS courses, hospital fairs, due dates for applications, robot encounter, standardized patients, there's no way you can just remember it all, so I actually use my planner. And it's getting filled in too. But it is pretty cool just how much you actually know. I can watch Grey's Anatomy and see all the glaring mistakes they make. I understand what they're talking about when I watch House.

Your priorities also need to shift. Your family, your friends, your hobbies, they all need to take a back seat if you want to do well. Some people say that's not true, but in my experience, everyone has made sacrifices when it comes to that. You simply can't spend as much time on any of that as you did before. You won't see your family as much as you used to, you won't be able to visit as much as you would want to. You won't get to talk to your friends as much as you would like to. You will probably miss important things like weddings or funerals because you have a lab or exam or some other mandatory event. I know so many people that broke up during medical school because they couldn't handle being with somebody that has no choice but to put school first. I am one of that number also. The thing is, relationships can work if the other person is understanding that you won't have as much time, that you can't go out every weekend, that when you say you have to study, you really mean it. Just not everyone can handle that.

But, even knowing all this, being where I am now, I wouldn't change it for the world. Becoming a doctor is something I've always wanted, and now I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm learning something that will eventually be useful. One day, I will be able to make a huge difference in someone's life, effect them in a way that few people can. 

Anyway, that's all for now. Maybe I'll update this more often, maybe not. We'll see how it goes. 

With med school coming up, I'm getting majorly nervous. What if I do so bad, I fail out? what if the only reason I graduated from undergrad is because of some accident and I'm really not smart enough and my grades are some kind of bizarre accident, that I didn't really deserve them? I was looking throguh one of the books, and there is so much stuff, I don't know how I'll ever remember it all. It's ridiculous, all the stuff I will have to learn, and what if there is no way for me to learn it all? I want to do well, I really do, but what if it's just not possible? Somebody help!!!

I figured I should update ths thing, haven't done it in a while. So lets see, I got a new laptop, got an apartment, lost that apartment, got another apartment. I'm going to order a new bookbag for school. Hmmm... what else? I was in Europe for a month, coming home was hard. Right now I'm hungry, thinking of pizza for lunch. I've also accidently lost 10 pounds in the past 2 or 3 months. Not that i"m complaining, I just don't know how it happened. But I'll take it. Also considering if I should go back to the orthopedist or not.  don't want to, but have a feeling I should.

Even though I think I know what school I'm going to next year, and I don't have an apartment nor have I started looking,  but I've been buying stuff for the apartment that I will have one day. So here is a list of what I've got so far...

• dinnerware set- red, pink, and orange polka dots,  4 big plates, 4 small plates, 4 bowls, and 4 mugs... $25
• strawberry potholders....$2
• silverware set. with strawberries on the handles...$10
• glasses.... set of 4 $12
• strawvberry butter spreaders...$1

I wanted to delete this but for some reason it wobn't let me. So ignore please.

In one week, I will be on a plane to Chicago with Dana!!! No idea what we'll do when we get there, except we do have tickets for  a Cubs game, but have no idea how to get to Wrigley Field. Neither of us have been there before, so it should be fun. We're staying in a 4 star hotel (gotta love expedia!) right in the heart of downtown Chicago. Our plan is just showing up and finding stuff to do. On Tasty Travels, they did a show in Chicago, and went to this place called Hot Chocolate, and the desserts looked soooooo good, so we're going to try to find it. And they went for trapeze lessons too, which we're going to try to find. Can you just see me? Susan, on the flying trapeze!!! I can't wait!

Date:	2006-08-12 17:48
Subject:	Why I like to travel
Security:	Public
Mood:	pensive
Music:	Bon Jovi- Have a NIce Day

I get asked a lot why I like to travel so much. Truth is, I don't really know. It seems to me that too many people wait so long waiting for their life to start, when in reality, it's passing them by. I guess when I'm traveling, it feels as though I'm not just waitinfg for my life to start, I'm taking hold of it and really living it. How corny is it? I figure nothing is guaranteed, so I might as well make the most of what time I've got. Your life is not going to start once you graduate school and get a job, its not going to start once you save up money for a car, it's happening right now. SO I say  take every oppurtunity you've got. And so, in short, that is why I travel.

This is because my last one was really long. This whole travelogue was long, but Im glad I wrote it all down. Now that I'm typing it up, I can laugh at everything that happened, even though I may not have always conveyed it in the best way. But it makes me laugh, so who cares about the rest of you? J/K of course.

I have some time, so I'm going to update my journal with my travel memories. Again, I have no idea what day I was writing on You lose track of days.

Here comes more of my travel journal in case any one is bored. Around this time, I lost track of days, so they're labelled by where I was. It really is a lot to ask to keep track of days.

Here comes Entry 2:

So I've decided to post my travel journal from my Europe trip in it's mostly unedited form. Not sure how far this will go, but ya'll have fun. And as soon as I get my pictures up, I"ll post a link for them too.

I'm back from Europe, and all I want to do is go back. I loved every second of the trip. It was absolutely amazing. I'm planning on typing up my travel journal in it's (mostly) unedited form if anyone is interested in reading it. But I really had a blast, so many memories. Although I think I lost my first hour of video tape. I must look for it tomorrow when I'm unpacking.

Wheeee...... I leave for Europe tonight!!!!!!!!!! In several hours, I will be on a plane to England!!! Hopefully I won't get lost. I have 10 rolls of film and 6 or 7 hours worth of video tape to take. So when i get back, I can bore everyone with hours adn hours of video and tons of pictures. So excited. I still need to go and get a mani/pedi, but it won't take long. Weeee...... going to Europe!

So my itinerary if anyone cares is London-->Paris-->Lucerne-->Munich-->Venice-->Florence-->Rome. I for one am looking foward to Lucerne, and going back to Paris. Crepes just don't taste the same anywhere else in the world. I wonder if my crepe man from the last time I was there is still working.

Graduation is over. I have to say it was all very anticlimatic. I think I expected much more, and instead, it's a bunch of boring speeches in the sun, and then they butcher your name and you shake hands, with who I was shaking hands with, I couldn't tell you. So it's all over, I'm now an alumna. And my dog is now sleeping wiht her head on my pillow.

Date:	2006-05-04 17:28
Subject:	Ouch
Security:	Public
Mood:	sore

I have an owwie. Tell me I'm npt a klutz. I just haven't yet fully mastered walking.

I'm watching the Rangers/Hurricanes game, and they're playing in Carolina. They play at the RBC Center. So what do I think of? The Red Blood Cell Center. I need to get out of the science field.